


Sakura

by Findarato



Category: Messiah Project - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Some Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6325540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Findarato/pseuds/Findarato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You got them in your hair. Look.” Shuusuke holds a whole flower in his hand. Somehow, this one didn’t break apart.</p>
<p>“You’ve got them, too.” A lot of pink; it stands out starkly from their hair and clothes, so pale and so fresh. Like the opposite of bloodstains.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sakura

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** The Messiah Project is not my creation  
>  **Spoilers:** Messiah in general, mentions of Shikkoku, Dou, and Hagane
> 
> **A/N:** …literally I wrote this because Mokkun made a tweet about cherry blossoms, and because I miss Souma/Shuusuke a ton, so…there you have it. It’s…actually not smut for once haha. And it’s short. I hope everyone’s enjoying spring :3

_**Sakura** _

The older you got, the more you appreciated things. Souma appreciates a good night's sleep, a really good meal, the company of great people, and nature. Especially the latter two. He didn't really go to any hanami, save the ones his old job had for the kids and he spent more time watching kids than he did the cherry blossoms. Didn't really drink, either. When he was young he thought it was sort of silly to go sitting around, watching flowers on a tree scatter all around you.

Ironic how he ends up in an organisation called Sakura. He hopes it's not comparing them to cherry blossoms—quick to bloom and quick to die. Work was dangerous, but no one really tried to die. At least…no one he knew personally. Nearly everyone wanted to graduate, wanted to live on.

He knows Shuusuke does, at least. And currently, Shuusuke is half in his lap, and they're sitting under a tree, watching petals drift. They have drinks in hand—or rather, Souma does, because he's holding it for both of them. They've had two bottles each and Shuusuke's glasses are crooked on his face; Souma adjusts them for him.

"Thanks."

"Mm. Do you want more?"

"Not right now." Shuusuke brushes petals off his chest. There's some stuck in his hair, but Souma doesn't feel particularly inclined to get them out. They're…really pretty like that.

"I thought we were taking a sip every time one lands on us?"

A waving hand thumps against his arm. "Souma, I don't think I can sit up anymore. And your face is red."

"It's dark—how can you tell?"

"I know it is."

He huffs. Of course Shuusuke knows both of their limits. Even in a dark, empty park with only moonlight and streetlights, he could tell.

They found each other about a week ago; yes they tried to plan it and it had, beautifully, worked out. Made the schedules work. Coincided their three-day break and now they're here. They did get a hotel room, but Souma has a feeling tonight they're doing to stay out. It's too beautiful, and the weather was actually nice. No traces of snow; just a slight breeze, and he's got Shuusuke. That last thing was very important.

"Souma."

"Yeah?"

A long pause. "Where are you headed next?"

"Oh." He names a port, a few hours away. "Something about illegal shipments and all that. You?"

"Up north. Closer to Russia." Shuusuke sighs, head flopping in Souma's lap. "It'll be cold."

"You should bring a scarf. And earmuffs."

"They should make thicker uniforms."

It's true; their uniforms were okay most of the time, but in the summer it was sort of unbearable and in winter it didn't do enough. It's still a step up from their older uniforms; what they now wear was more comfortable. Souma yanks at his collar, toying with a zipper.

"They made me go back for a while," he finally says. "As back up."

"You told me before. How was it? You didn't seem to want to talk about it."

"I didn't. It was…" He closes his eyes and cleans back against the trunk of the tree. "A lot bad memories, you know? And a lot of shitty things happened."

"I asked for a report."

"Figured you would."

Shuusuke's fingers find his; he automatically draws them together. "It was too close to home, you know? I tried but I couldn't do much. I don't think I could've prevented something that was basically happening since the day he joined. Or even earlier."

The topic of betrayal. The complex nature of it. The reasons. The outcome. It's hard to even say who suffered more—traitor or betrayed. He had left with a sense of disquiet and dissatisfaction, and basically gone searching for Shuusuke after that, to cope. Even now, he still worries, and wonders. Shuusuke's already heard the whole story for him, so now it's just the aftermath, final thoughts.

"I've heard of people dying from grief, but that…that was too brutal, in some ways." Too cruel. And the ones left alive, to be forced to carry that… "It's amazing that we made it." Because they almost didn't, with the confusing nature of their graduation mission. Burying a second Messiah? He couldn't do it. Souma finds himself pressing a hand to Shuusuke's shoulder, gripping it to make sure he's there.

"I still get nightmares about it from time to time." Shuusuke admits to him; he's a little gone and his words slur, but he's still coherent. "We did punch each other a lot, and yell. And point guns at each other. But I trusted you."

They made it, but that mission wasn't going to leave them. He dreams about it too. Shuusuke shutting him out, him getting angry. Shuusuke getting shot and the relief afterwards that they were okay. "I trusted you, too."

Shuusuke nods. "Do you think…they'll ever put us together again? Like Hayashi-san and Yaegashi-san?"

"I hope so. But maybe not until we're as old as them."

"Then we need to age faster. So I can see you every day again. It's not fun, you know? Waking up and I think 'good morning, Souma,' but you're not there." Shuusuke's voice takes on a rambling tone. "I know I shouldn't complain about things I can't change, but I miss you."

"I miss you, too." Souma bends over Shuusuke, resting his forehead on Shuusuke's. He feels a hand sliding up and awkwardly smacking him on the ear, until it finally rests on the back of neck. "I don't understand why they keep us apart after graduation. I still need you," he finished shamelessly.

"And I still need you, too," Shuusuke replies, just as candidly. "Maybe someday they'll change the system."

Sometimes, Souma gets the urge to pull himself up through the ranks. Get himself to Kamikita's level. Ichijima's level. He could easily grasp at power, or maybe support Shuusuke doing that, and start implementing changes. Hiring a psychologist and therapist for one. Not splitting up people after graduation. Giving people time to mourn. Figure out what's working and what wasn't. Sakura is necessary, but that didn't mean it was perfect. Surely it could do better, and prevent less trauma.

Then a petal falls on his nose and he sneezes.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He's not allergic, but anyone would sneeze if their nose was tickled. Also, he just realised he can't really stay upright anymore either, so he ends up shoving his gloves underneath his head (having a headband also cushioned him some), and manoeuvring Shuusuke so they were basically sprawled together. Cherry blossoms continued to fall; by tomorrow they're going to be blanketed in them.

"Souma."

Gosh, he still likes the way Shuusuke says his name. "Mmhgm?"

"That's not a word."

He makes more sounds. Shuusuke whacks him on his chin, though he was probably aiming for Souma's shoulder.

"I'm listening! What did you want to say?"

"Come with me up north. We're actually short on manpower."

He'd love to, really. "I don't know if I can rescind my orders." He doesn't think he has that power. Not yet, anyway.

"Eiri and Haku are going too."

Oh. That makes him want to go with Shuusuke all the more. "Maybe I'll call up Kamikita-san…" The thought of asking Ichijima for anything makes him grimace. But surely it's not too much to ask. He'd rather spend a few cold weeks with Shuusuke over hiding in ships and catching smugglers. "I'll try. Put in a word for me or something?"

"Yeah, I'll do that."

It's not that they were completely cut off; it's that Sakura did try, at times, to keep them apart. Maybe they thought emotions would get in the way. Frankly, Souma still thinks he works better with someone who understands and can predict him. "Then you won't have to worry about being cold," he teases, patting Shuusuke on the head.

"There's cameras."

"There's cameras everywhere, did you forget? It's not like we're planning to elope and flee." He's pretty sure there's files of people kissing, and them kissing, somewhere in the archives. No one put up any signs that said "NO SEX ALLOWED."

"Aren't we?"

" _Shuusuke._ " He laughs, nearly chokes, and rolls over and buries his face in the front Shuusuke's coat. That would be the ideal. They could easily grab some money and make a run for it, disappear like they were taught, and immerge different people. And while they're at it, drag along Haku and Eiri because why not? And he'd see Shuusuke every day, every night. "We're already practically married."

Sometimes, it didn't need a slip of paper with signatures. It didn't need rings. Shuusuke was his, and he's is Shuusuke's. It has everything to do with the way Shuusuke, half-drunk, rolls on top of him and he automatically adjusts their arms and legs so they're comfortable. It has everything to do with how they kiss, and how they touch each other's faces and then end up just staring at each other.

"Do you ever think about your family?"

"Yeah." His parents, he still checks on them through reports. He's not allowed to go within a mile of them, much less even be in the same area unless it was an emergency. But they're doing well and that's as much as he could ask for—they even receive government funds for what happened to their son—though Souma knows that's money from _his_ paycheck, going to them. "I'm sure you do, too."

"I wonder what they'd think if I brought you home."

"Well, you'd first have to explain what you were doing all those years, and why you're not dead."

"I think they'd like you."

"Haaah…" Okay, there's something great about the person closest to you saying that their parents would approve of you. Like he did something right. "Mine would, too. They'd be impressed, with your background and all that."

"Oh, _please_. I haven't use English in so long I've forgotten so much of it."

"And now you know Russian."

"But so do you."

The basics of it, anyway. "You did law. You can tell them all the things you learned in law school."

"And I'll tell mine that you like kids. They'd be happy with that, too."

"I bet." His voice gets a little soft; sometimes if they think too much about the alternatives, it gets heavy. Both of them were better suited to a normal life. They could adapt, yes, but…he still wants the old him.

But if that had happened, he wouldn't have met Shuusuke. He wouldn't be sitting here in a park with Shuusuke, the two of them buzzed on alcohol and feelings.

He catches a petal in his hand, and then drops it, watching it float. "Still glad to have met you."

"I never regret that."

Souma rolls them both over so they're side-by-side, so that he can properly see Shuusuke's face and trace the outline of his lips. Shuusuke does likewise, fingering his jawline and side of neck. Sometimes, Souma has so much he wants to say. He could commit essays, books even, to Shuusuke. But it doesn't seem to be enough, never enough for the guy he's so dear to, the guy that's pulled him through some pretty tough things. Even now, when Shuusuke shivers a little, he all but yanks Shuusuke's closer.

"Do you want my coat?"

"I'm good like this."

It'd be wiser to go back to the hotel, of course. But he glances back up at the tree, and doesn't want to go. Cherry blossoms stood for beauty, stood for the passing of it, and how you were to appreciate things that came and went quickly. But he almost doesn't like that metaphor. He wants a different tree—an evergreen, maybe. They didn't fade. They remained strong. Maybe they didn't bloom and they weren't as beautiful, but they endured.

However, who's not to say sakura didn't endure, either? The flowers come and go, but the tree itself lives on a long, long time. He knows a little more up north, there were some marvellously giant cherry blossom trees that got flooded with visitors every spring. You weren't just strong if you remained the same, you adapted. You changed. Like him and Shuusuke.

It suddenly all makes sense and he chuckles, causing Shuusuke to twitch a little. Oops, he did that right next to his ear, didn't he.

"Sorry, I was thinking about cherry blossoms."

"And they're funny?"

"I mean, we're like them."

"Not in short-lived way, though?"

"Oh, no. Not like that. More like…" he grasps at the thought. "I'll explain tomorrow. I can't explain anything right now." Alcohol is on the fringes of his consciousness. "But it's good thoughts. All good thoughts."

"So as long you're planning long-term plans, that's fine."

"Believe me, you're in my long-term plans." He hugs Shuusuke a little tighter. "We'll make it happen."

Tomorrow, he'd explain what he means, and Shuusuke will laugh at him but completely understand. Tomorrow, they'll brush themselves off and go back to their duties. He'll make some calls, and hope he gets shipped up north for a little reunion. But if not, he'll look forward to the next time he can meet them, and meet Shuusuke.

"You got them in your hair. Look." Shuusuke holds a whole flower in his hand. Somehow, this one didn't break apart.

"You've got them, too." A lot of pink; it stands out starkly from their hair and clothes, so pale and so fresh. Like the opposite of bloodstains.

A particularly large gust of wind causes a shower of petals to cascade, and Souma kisses Shuusuke again, in between all the pink and pollen and scent of them. Shuusuke kisses back; he's holding back laughter but at the same time he's just as eager.

"Don't you think we should at least find a bench?"

Souma thinks about it. "I'm more comfortable here. I'm comfortable with anywhere, so as long as with you."

When did they get sappy, or this sweet? He has no clue, but he likes saying stuff like this, if just for the expressions that Shuusuke shows before his eyes are filled with such fondness and it really, really makes Souma want to run with him to some far-off country where Sakura can't find them. At least their future wasn't all bleak; Souma gets a satisfaction out of the fact he's still alive and kicking, and that he sees Shuusuke nearly every month. As if they could be kept apart.

He grips Shuusuke's hand, and they lie there, side-by-side, underneath a tree that showered blossoms upon them. It's basically a wedding, the tree their witness, and their vows said long ago and sealed by the experiences they shared. What more could he ask for this night?

"You're smiling."

"Why do you think I am?"

"Because I'm here?"

"Yeah." Souma grins wider. "That's always why."

**.end.**


End file.
